Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
