The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The air was thick with penises
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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