Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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