he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
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omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
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is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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