You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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