I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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