Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My cat gives me a boner
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
