hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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