90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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