My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
