I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
