He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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