I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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