She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
