we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
