can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
