god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
