Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize