My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
operation harelip BJ is a go
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
