She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
