White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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