at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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