my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
