help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
