yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
