i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
