So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Acid is not a monday night drug
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
