It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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