You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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