Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
