sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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