Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
