we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize