FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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