Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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