where am i from again
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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