I can text with my tongue
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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