Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
