Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
