we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
