i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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