I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
