he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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