3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
