she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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