I wish i was in the wii world.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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