remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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