Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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