I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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