I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ok first of all what the fuck
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
