Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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