i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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