Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
