I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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