I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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